A festive season filled with emotional clutter

2020 has been hard. And as the year draws to a close and we enter the festive season, many of us are exhausted, and facing a very different Christmas from usual - often without loved ones around us and with restrictions on our usual celebrations. 

I know for me personally I am filled with mixed emotions right now - relief and cautious optimism from the news of the vaccines, sadness and grief at being away from family members during Christmas, excitement for our first Christmas here in Malaysia, and gratitude for our health and lifestyle, and the new friends we will be celebrating with this festive season. 

Most people I am talking to at the moment are experiencing this mixture of exhaustion and sadness combined with gratitude and optimism. 

So how do we deal with this emotional clutter?

Firstly, ride the waves. Notice and acknowledge everything you are feeling. Some days might be filled with joy and contentment. Great! Notice that. Others will be hard and you might feel flat, sad, low, or tired. That's fine too! Again, notice what you are feeling. Talk about your feelings with those close to you. Don't feel like you have to do something about the emotion, it is okay to let yourself feel it. You might feel like you and others should be able to slap on a smile and move on. But ignoring difficult emotions doesn't make them go away - pushing them down without acknowledgement can actually make them stronger. So talk, reflect, journal, whatever works for you to work through the emotional waves.

Secondly, commit to doing what you can to make the most of this festive season. What are two or three things you will commit to doing just for you and your family this Christmas? For me, it was important to decorate our apartment, cook good Christmas food, go away somewhere with space for my daughter to play and my husband and I to relax, and spend time with friends to make the most of our life here. Don't make your list full of chores and must do's,  focus on what really matters. Your family won't remember if the Christmas lunch doesn't have matching napkins, but they will remember that you were together.

Thirdly, be kind to yourself and others. This year has placed exceptional stress on individuals and families. Those around you might not be as cheerful as usual. Be compassionate. Take time for yourself where you can and engage in good self care habits - get enough sleep and exercise and eat good food.  Little gestures for others can also be good for your wellbeing whilst also showing people you care and are thinking of them.

And finally, take a big deep breath and pat yourself on the back for making it through a really tough year. There is light at the end of the tunnel. We will travel again and see family and friends again. Vaccines will be rolled out and people's health will be protected. Businesses will build back. But for now, it is okay to be both grateful and sad. And relieved. 

2020 is almost over!

HEATHER BECKETT